Beautiful Oblivion

So its been a while since I have posted anything. Actually, I dont think I have ever posted anything meaningful anyway. No one reads mine so it really doesnt matter. Its just a place for me to vent about family because they dont know about this one like they do myspace. *sigh* I have so much to bitch about but I dont want to type it all. I get so pissed off......home life really sucks a big cock, and I know bitching about it wont help. Sometimes I just go to my room and take a Lexapro even if it doesnt help. I often think I should have cut his face off with that pizza cutter when I had the chance. I cant wait until I have enough money to move out. I know it will be hard, but so much better without all the bullshit I go through. I dont even have money. I am probly gonna end up pawning my guitar for money to buy a few christmas gifts. But I got the job at hastings so there is a start. Besides the normal bullshit at home, my life is great, the best its ever been.  I am so in love with Royce, I never knew it something so beautiful could happen to me in this lifetime. I wrote this letter to him after a fight.

My Love,

     I'm sorry I can't be perfect, although I try my hardest to be. I just want to make you happy and be good to you. I try not to make you angry, even though I can be difficult sometimes and start a crazy fight unwillingly...Everyday I find myself thinking of how much I care for you. I didn't believe true love existed until I met you.I thought one must grow to love another person. I have been in love with you since the very beginning which was some years ago. I never knew I could care so much for just one person. Everyday I grow to love you more and more. You have shown me how to love unselfishly, and you have shown me my beauty that I never knew I had. You make me feel as if I could fly if I wanted to. Everytime you grab my hand, butterflys flutter in the chambers of my heart and my soul begins to smile. My love for you is what keeps me going day to day. Im devoted to you for all my life, to take care of you, to help you, to love you, to nurish you, to grow old with you, and to be a friend to you when your in need. I always dream about the day our lives become one. I know that day will come someday, just not soon enough. But I do know when it comes it will be the happiest day of my life. *sigh* You know, I dont care what others think. I dont care if they think we wont last. Something deep down tells me we will. I know we will. The relationship between the two of us is to precious and extraordinary, unlike anything i've ever seen in life, only in the movies. Even then what we have is better than whats in the movies. You inspire me in so many ways I couldnt explain them all in one night. You make me want to be something incredible, and change the world. I feel extremely lucky to have you, to hold you, to befriend you, to love you. You are the perfect guy that any girl would hope for, and I have won your heart as you have won mine. Not only do I feel lucky, but I am honored. You are more to me than just my boyfriend, you are my soul mate, my true love, my knight in shining armour. You have rescued me from so many horrible things...Thank You. You speak the unspeakable things through 3 tiny words. I never really understood the emotions you feel when the one you love says 'I Love You' until the first time you told me. Then and everytime you say those cherished words I go weak in the knees and my eyes close automatically to take it all in. Once I have realized what you have said, I return my love for you and kiss you oh so gently as my lips tremble at the touch of yours...I know i've written many things and still there is a million more things to say but just know now and forever you hold the keys to my heart and soul.

Your Love,

Alicia♥

sweet isnt it. It makes me cry everytime I read it. Oh and his response in the letter he wrote me is way better. Im so lucky to have a boy like him. Dreams are weird. They fascinate me. Its crazy what my mind can come up with. Sometimes i think i should turn them into stories to go in a crazy science fiction novel or something. I think my friend has as weight problem. she is so not fat, but she thinks she is. She barely eats enough to keep a bird alive, and when she eats enough for two birds she takes a laxative to make it all come out. I think she has gotten to the point where she takes a laxative everynight, but im not for sure. I know shes always not ate enough, or threw it up sometimes, but i never worried about it. Shes a healthy person but i think if she continues it will go too far. i dunno maybe im over reacting....who knows. Im so not ready for christmas. i have no money to buy anyone gifts... maybe i will write on a piece of paper "i.o.u" and then wrap it up in pretty paper. Or make macaroni necklaces for everyone, its not about what you get, atleast ya got one.....lol i dunno im a crazy person dont worry about me. okay well. i think im going to bed, im kinda tired, and i dont think Royce will call tonight, although i know jorden will. Hmm, im going to bed anyway, if they call they call. Sweet dreams.

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I - d - i - o - syn - cra - sy
1. A structural or behavioral characteristic
peculiar to an individual or group.
2. A physiological or temperamental
peculiarity.
3. An unusual individual reaction to food or a drug.

List
five of your own idiosyncrasies and then tag five friends to do the same.


1: I have to have clean underwear at all times. I have over 30 pair.

2: I have to have q-tips with me at all times, in my purse, in my car, in my room, in the bathroom..........

3: My feet must stay un-covered for me to go to sleep.

4: Washing dishes makes me sick to my stomach.

5: I hate the feel of warm coins or metal, it makes me gag.

I tag.... anyone bored enough to do it

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i cant stand immature bitches! get over yourself kalynn, he doesnt like you anymore. ive never dont anything to you, but if you wanna start some shit, come on with it. i swear to god if you shoot one more dirty look and roll your eyes and grunt like a hog, im gonna punch in your head. i hate you. quit telling yourself your in love with him. because your not. he hates you. i hate you. we all hate you. continue to be jealous. because i plan on being with him for a long time

<3 Alicia

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Untitled No.3

He has the most beautiful light brown eyes,
Like tarnished gold or sleepy lullabies
And he smiles like the sun shooting rays of luminescence on my world.
When I tell him that I love him, he does not need reply.
For if he would let go and reciprocate, I would surely fly.
As he lightly brushes my skin with his gentle fingers, my inhibitions unfurl.
A decade has past away in my yearning for his hand,
And now he sits beside me, my heart at his command.
And he pulls me to his lips, softer than the richest rose, my toes begin to curl.
My body shivers in amazement when he slips into the room,
How could such a walking, talking beauty portray impending doom.
The notion of his true devotion to a perfect future sets my mind into a swirl.
Could it be, that he is really here with me, returning my stare?
Or has my insane obsession finally rendered me unaware?

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what am i going to do with my life? that question is always going through my head. everyone seems so puzzled when they ask what i am going to do after graduation and all i can do is shrug my shoulders and say i dont know.***my elbow hurts. why you ask? well my arm was layin uner Royce and i started to tickle him and he rolled off the couch and my arm went with him and my elbow cracked kinda (the elbow that has been fractured 2 other times) and now it hurts all the way up to my shoulder. great right?***i need to go on a diet. im gettin xtra fluffy and the stretch marks are begging to take over. wanna know why i have stretch marks?....its because im a tiger. RAWR.*** so....why do people lie about watching pornography and masturbating? i just dont understand. its a natural thing so why lie? right?***im extremley thirsty. too bad we have nothing to drink. grr.***okay im going to bed now. <3AL

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